I found myself saying "so what" to a frantic facebook update from a SHAM that I know. She did have a series of crappy things happen that day to make it a horrible day, but my first thought was- try being a working mom. Every day is chaotic, frantic, and stressful in some way. Yes, eventually things become somewhat routine, but my routine day has a level of chaos and stress. I guess I could say that I was having a bad day if some additional, unforeseen even sprung up to add to my usual stress.
I've been reflecting on her status update for a few days now and keep coming back to THIS is my version of mommy wars. My first thought was to write- try being a working mom. I refrained and posted a simple "ugh, I hope your day gets better." I knew enough to stop myself from my real thought because it was surely going to start the war. I typically don't like to engage in the "my life is worse" pissing match, but I admit that the thought crossed my mind when I decided to edit my response to something more heartfelt and less honest.
Had I started the war, I'm sure a SHAM will quickly point out that I get a break while I'm at work. Yes, it is a break of sorts, but instead of taking care of a baby, I get to deal with the stress of a job. I wouldn't exactly call it a "break". I'm sure the next comment would include something about being selfish or not loving my child or how it is child abuse to leave a kid at daycare. Yup, I know exactly how the conversation would go- like I need to be convinced that life as a SHAM is oh, so hard. Guess what, regardless of the choices one makes, life is hard and unfair! That is LIFE!
In the end, I don't feel guilty (as I've shared here before). In fact, I know I am a better parent because I go to work everyday. I'm still breastfeeding at 11 months, which is longer than a lot of moms I know (both SHAM and working). I hope not to be the start of a mommy war, but unwrapping my reaction to her status definitely made me realize that I could easily start it if I shared my honest thoughts on this or any other "my life is so bad" comment.
